And a scribe came up and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” Another of the disciples said to Him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” ~ Matthew 8:19-22
How many times has this conversation between Jesus and His would-be disciples replayed in my head? Too many to count. So why then is it still a surprise to me when I encounter circumstances in my seminary preparations that don’t go as I want? Do I really think I get to be in charge of this process? Should I expect God to work on my timeline or accommodate my priorities? To borrow a phrase from Saint Paul, “By no means!”
If I feel inconvenienced by being called to do the Lord’s work, I better check myself in a hurry. Jesus’ closest disciples didn’t hesitate when called. They didn’t make excuses. They didn’t complain. They left everything and immediately followed Him.
So let me put my issues in perspective. Am I happy to be leaving my home, family, and friends in a couple weeks? No, but I’m grateful that technology and modern transportation mean we won’t be completely separated. Am I happy to fill out what feels like a million forms? No, but I understand the necessity of each one. Am I happy finding a place to live in Fort Wayne was a hassle, and that we can’t move in when we’d like, and that we’ll have to move out in a year? No, but I’m grateful that we finally found a house that will be safe and comfortable for our family for the time being and that everyone involved has been so patient and helpful.
Pamela and I have been told multiple times the hardest part about seminary is getting there. I’m not entirely sure that’s true, but I suppose we’ll find out for ourselves soon enough. I do believe our experiences there will be amazing, and I really am thankful for the opportunity to become a pastor. So I’m going to work to focus less on the doubts and frustrations the devil keeps throwing at me and more on the gifts and blessings our Father showers on us and how I can serve Him more joyfully.
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